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Jace Connors
Jace "Stryker" Connors, AKA ParkourDude91, is a 19(?) year old unemployed1 racist delusional alcoholic2 who lives with his parents and spends his life playing video games, smoking weed and vlogging. He describes himself as a "future Navy SEAL", "future Marine", or "future Spec Op", depending on which day you ask him, and is obsessed with parkour, martial arts, and the Desert Eagle handgun. He became somewhat of a minor Internet personality in October of 2012 for his high-profile opinions, horribly designed webpage, and controversial YouTube videos. He is average height, slightly overweight, and in more recent videos he sports a goatee, beard and intense tan. To date, he has never been seen without his pair of flame sunglasses, which he claims are his "trademark" for reasons he has never explained. Aside from that, he is often photographed posing with a cheap stainless steel "Ka-Bar knockoff" knife with "Semper Fidelis" (latin for "Always Faithful", motto of the US Marines) written on it in Sharpie. In his Vlog-ust: Day 8 video, he wrote "Fuck Yeah CIA!!!" onto the opposite side of the knife as requested by CIAdude420, a fake CIA operative who posted this suggestion on Jace's Tumblr page. He introduces himself as "P to the ParkourDude91" and uses a faux-hip hop Jadakiss "tahah" chuckle/laugh as if it were a form of punctuation. Jesus christ this guy sounds like a faggot, doesn't he? Well, he is. He believes the Illuminati are out to get him (which, secretly, we are, but don't tell him that. Let's just keep this between ourselves, ok?) and that a certain board on Reddit sent him ricin laced pizza. That was actually members of our Shriners G-1245 sect, not those lovable and easy to controll and trigger goofballs on Reddit. Dont worry, Jace, we'll get you soon enough there, buddy. Hangtight2.png A--cNmTCAAAFYPD.jpg large.jpg IMG_20130227_091959_487.jpg IMG_20130225_120318_077.jpg dontfuckwith.png 1.jpg Personality Jace Connors has a volatile temper and takes himself very seriously. He can at times be jovial and light-hearted, but never jokes about himself. His usual response to any adversity is to attempt to intimidate whoever is disagreeing with him using carefully-worded vague threats. He seems to experience mood swings and his mood is generally unpredictable. He thinks very highly of himself but usually appears genuinely friendly to those who do not openly mock him. His sense of humor is that of an eight year old's. It is speculated that Jace has some form of autism. He is incredibly gullible, a weakness that causes people to easily take advantage of him. Interests Jace has a wide variety of hobbies in which he spends all of his time in. His main interests are playing first person shooter video games, such as Call of Duty and Counter-Strike, hanging out with his stoner friends, shooting his airsoft Desert Eagle and practicing an extremely crude form of parkour. He also loves to smoke marijuana, usually while multitasking, which has led him into all sorts of trouble. He has started his drinking habit once again after being flamed by trolls. Jace also has a wide variety in his taste of music. He mainly listens to hard rock bands such as Bon Jovi, Green Day and Nickelback; nu-metal, like Disturbed, Slipknot and Breaking Jenjamin; he is also a fan of Eminem, Skrillex and Insane Clown Posse. All of the forementioned artists are mostly heard in his Tumblr page or YouTube videos. Delusions Jace Connors believes the following things: -Parkour is a type of martial art.3 -The Desert Eagle .50 AE handgun is a tactical sidearm used by United States armed forces.4 -Often thinks that most branches are one in the same; he believes that one can become a Navy SEAL by joining the Army or Marines. He also uses the terms Marine, soldier, and spec ops/special forces interchangeably. -Claiming you are going to join the Army in the future is "basically the same thing as being in the Army" and deserves the same level of respect. 5 -Soldiers in the army "unlock" weapons and attachments, being permitted to use them only after rising in rank, similar to gameplay in Call of Duty games. Source? -Soldiers in the army get to choose their own weapons and gear. -Many armies around the world practice dual-wielding firearms. 6 -Most Call of Duty games are based loosely on real-life events. 7 -It is common for snipers to smoke weed to stabilize their aim. 8 -Being a "future Marine" is generally enough to get out of committing crimes. 9 -You can be forced to join a certain religion by saying certain words or phrases, like an Islamic version of Dragon Shouts in Skyrim (more on this later) 10 -Can be baptised on Steam; Jace converts himself from atheism to Catholicism after hearing that it is the only way to denounce being a Muslim, as a result of above. Trivia -As seen on the comments section of a YouTube video source, Jace follows a similar trend to Chris-chan by showering on an "as needed" basis. -Jace despises anything related to cartoons, anime or manga, as he claims them to be for nerds. 11 Despite this, he used to be a huge fan of Transformers and Naruto when he was younger. source -He played the visual novels/dating sims Hate Plus and Analogue: A Hate Story, but denies this and gets defensive when anyone brings it up.12 -In a trolling video, Jace was tricked into pouring laundry detergent onto his bleeding toe13 while high after he tripped and tore off his toenail while attempting to find an imaginary bomb in his house.14 -He has a celebrity crush on professional wrestler John Cena.15 -According to the Dark Souls stream, Jace wears his sunglasses for two reasons: to disguise himself better from trolls, and because he is extremely sensitive to bright light. -Jace is colorblind. source - I can't recall him ever saying this -At one time, Jace had a girlfriend but broke up after a few months. 16 -When he is not using his Bible to falsely praise Jesus, Jace uses his Bible pages to roll blunts. 17 -He receives monthly welfare checks. 18 -He believes the Govermnent shutdown started October 1st 2013 will cause some SHTF-type collapse of society. 19 -He has admitted to cross state lines while in possession of an ounce of marijuana 20 Sources 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9pX3G6-5J8 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKEYl8F1ko4#t=2m55s 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6Z8zhgkkPE 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dtj-uk7e_Q#t=6m15s 5 Said countless times. Pick one. 6 Said on comments in his Tumblr. Someone find source. 7 Said on his Tumblr during the "Soap/HadjiKiller" saga. 8 Said on tumblr and Steam. 9 This was from YouTube comments - someone find it please. 10 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY1ABBDF4F8 11 Said on Dark Souls live stream. 12 http://steamcommunity.com/id/parkourdude91 Profile is private. Someone get a pic of it - it's under "games played" 13 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-YTPQ7VML4#t=1h08m56s 14 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-YTPQ7VML4#t=39m08s for bomb 15 http://parkourdude91.tumblr.com/tagged/john_cena 16 Dark Souls Live Stream 17 Dark Souls Live Stream 18 http://i.imgur.com/EwwBJYM.png 19 http://i.imgur.com/6Dor4EZ.png 20Video Screencap